Revelations

As Sue Sylvester could tell you, it's tough being a local celebrity. Aside from getting hounded for autographs at the local Donut Hole, all eyes are on you at all times -- expecting greatness, scrutinizing failure. Fame can be a demanding mistress. Once you are recognized, the pressure is on. You better not screw it up.

The above concerns are among the reasons that I kept this blog secret for awhile. While I am far from a celebrity, I have spoken with a number of you about what this blog could or should be. And now that I know/hope you're reading, I don't want to disappoint. As we've all discovered this week, many of you have your own blogs and I find them inspiring and interesting. I don't know that this blog will be either of those things. But I will certainly try. In Torts, we talk a lot about shifting blame. When we shift blame, we don't have to suffer the consequences of our actions. It sounds like a good deal until you realize that you don't get to take credit for the good stuff either. I'm hoping that this experiment in blogging will be both funny and fun. Funny for you to read and fun for me to write. If that happens, I'll be the first one to seek the credit. If it sucks and I've wasted your time, I'll find a good and lawyer-ly way to shift the blame.

Now that I've gotten my disclaimer out of the way...on to the show. So many funny things happened this week. I've wasted enough of your time talking about not wasting your time that I'm going to jump right in.

Two words: BALLOON BOY.

There is a scene in Ocean's Eleven in which Scott Caan calls Casey Affleck a "balloon boy." Ian and I used to act it out all the time. Yes, we're just that cool. Anyway, I will now forever blame Falcon Heene for ruining that memory for me.
First off, I could have told you that these people wanted to be celebrities the day that they named their child Falcon. When you think about it, it is a really good celebrity baby name. Surpassing Apple, it ranks right up there with Jason Lee's choice to name his son Pilot Inspektor.
Secondly, the Heenes really are terrible parents. They could convince their kid to hide in an attic for a few hours, but they forgot to tell him not to lie on Larry King? Talk about dropping the follow through. Any good pediatrician will tell you that if there's one thing that kids need, it's consistency.

Speaking of consistency, I can always count on the New York Jets to suck. Yes, I spent six hours in the freezing October drizzle watching them fumble around the football field pretending to have a clue and all I got was a lousy Fan Appreciation Day travel mug. (Catchy, I know. I'm thinking of getting it printed on a t-shirt.) Come to think of it, that's not all I got. I got a nasty cold, too. Typical. After looking semi-talented in his first three NFL starts, Mark Sanchez has finally acclimated to life as a Jet. This means that he has learned to become incompetent and infuriating. Quite the accomplishment.

In other football news, Finn convinced Ken to let him both play quarterback and sing lead vocals in the Glee Club. Has anyone else noticed that his character is an exact replica of Oz from American Pie? He even has Chris Klein's dopey smile -- and questionable acting chops. Now that Quinn's been de-Cheerio-ed, does that mean she'll get to wear normal clothes to school? I know Ramaz gave up cheerleading in the early 80s, but even I'm fairly certain that cheerleaders don't wear their uniforms all day, every day. The producers might want to look into that. Also, I have to give major props to my friend Sam for pointing out that there is no way in hell that Rachel would not have made a pass at Mr. Schu yet. He's a teacher who is young, hot, talented, and "still miraculously" straight? What is she waiting for? Probably February Sweeps.

I really never intended for this to become a Glee blog, but I promised Becky I'd update tonight and I've got Glee on the brain. If you're ever lucky enough to catch me on a Tuesday, I'll be happy to rave about the fact that the writers of House have FINALLY given Chase an actual storyline. I love his adorable Aussie accent -- and the ethical implications of his actions in the "Tyrant" episode would get Randy Cohen all hot and bothered.

So, now that you've bothered to spend some of your time with me, what did you think? The Comments section isn't just for (a) show, people. Falcon Heene is.

xoxo Glee-sip Girl